Five Times One of Them Wanted Out
by Meatball42
Summary: The night before their wedding, Jack and Rose reminisce over their relationship while they try to write their vows for the Doctor.


_Now_  
"What a long, strange trip it's been since I met you, Doctor," Jack began.  
Rose groaned. "Come off it, that's cheating! You can't steal stuff from a song for your vows!"  
Jack blinked. "What song?" he asked, looking sincerely confused.  
Rose buried her face in her arms on the kitchen table. "Just… think of something else."  
"This is ridiculous. Why did I even agree to this?" Jack shoved away from the table and yanked open the refrigerator, withdrawing with a bottle of beer from Rose's time. "If I meet anyone I know ever again, they'll laugh me out of the galaxy."  
"Huh?" Rose frowned.  
"Marriage."  
She bristled. "You say it like it's a bad thing."  
"Well, come on! Committing to one person- or in this case, two people- for the rest of your life? Whose dumb idea was that?"  
"You didn't seem to mind on Arcatania!" Rose argued.  
"Oh, Rose, don't remind me of that." Jack looked like he was going to be sick.

_Then_  
Rose and the Doctor excused themselves from the celebration feast- very politely, as the rebels didn't entirely trust them, despite their help, and were rather spear-happy- and went looking for Jack. He'd disappeared a while ago, supposedly to get more of the native's version of wine, and they were getting worried.  
After two different sets of bad directions and a short argument, the Doctor used his Sonic Screwdriver to locate Jack's Vortex Manipulator. As they approached the room in the newly seized palace where Jack was located, they heard a high, sultry woman's laugh, interspersed with Jack's lower, growling chuckle. They pushed the door open and discovered themselves in a luxurious bedroom, where their nude lover was intimately sharing fruit with an equally naked alien woman.  
"Jack!" Rose gasped.  
The former Time Agent sat up and glared. "I don't suppose you could give us some privacy?" he said rudely, tugging up a blanket to cover himself and the squealing green lady.  
"Not like you to want us out of your bedroom," the Doctor pointed out dryly.  
"That was then, this is now." Jack scowled. "I've moved on, as you can see." He looked at the green lady, who reached out a thin arm and caressed his cheek.  
Rose called his name entreatingly, feeling like her heart was getting torn out. "You said you wanted to be with us forever."  
Jack laughed mockingly. "I only said that to get in your pants, Rose. Chelys and I are different. We're going to be married by the laws of her people, tomorrow at dawn."  
Before Rose could respond, the Doctor stepped up to the edge of the bed and slammed his fist into the side of Jack's face, hard enough to throw him off the bed. Rose gasped, and Chelys shrieked as though she was in pain.  
A long moan came from the far side of the bed. Jack's head appeared, his face already swollen and starting to bruise. "Where am I? And why am I naked? Is there a party?"

_Now_  
"I was under mind control! There's no way that counts!"  
"We're going to be married by the laws of her people at dawn," Rose repeated in a teasing voice.  
"Like I would ever have agreed to that if I were in my right mind."  
Rose's amusement was quickly cut short. "Then why did you agree to marrying us?" she asked, sounding angry to mask her hurt.  
Jack noticed. "You remember that time I had amnesia?"  
Rose rolled her eyes. "Like I could forget."

_Then_  
"Who the hell are you people and where have you taken me?"  
Rose put her hands up in the air when she saw Jack wasn't messing around. The Doctor just glowered, ignoring the other man's fully-charged sonic blaster and murderous expression. "You're on the TARDIS."  
"No such thing," Jack countered immediately.  
"Look around," suggested the Doctor.  
Keeping the blaster pointed in their direction, Jack backed up to the console and looked down at the multitude of buttons, levers and various screens. "This… this is a trick," he said, but he didn't sound very sure anymore. "I want you to let me go."  
"We can take you to New New New New New New-"  
"Can't we ever just say the number?" Rose mumbled in the background.  
"New New New York, they've got technology that'll snap you right out of this amnesia."  
"Stop moving." Rose froze even more even though the Doctor was the one who'd tried to walk toward the console. She'd never heard Jack's voice sound that cold, hadn't imagined that it could. "You're not taking me anywhere until I know who you are."  
"I'm the Doctor, that's Rose."  
"We're together, Jack," Rose told him. "All three of us."  
"We work together?"  
"We do everything together," she said honestly.  
Jack stared at her and the Doctor like he could read their minds. Rose gulped; she knew Jack was intuitive, but he'd never so obviously tried to figure them out before. "Fine," he decided, holstering his blaster. "Prove it."  
The Doctor's voice was dark and practically carnal as he stepped up to crowd Jack against the console. "Our pleasure."  
Rose grinned and followed, not wanting to miss a moment.

_Now_  
"Yeah," Jack said dreamily.  
"You were saying?" Rose prodded, resisting the urge to smile.  
"Oh, yeah. You two knew me so well you could convince me that we were in love even when I had no idea who you were. It wasn't just sex, Rose," he said quietly. "I could tell that you both loved me, and my body knew I loved you, even though I couldn't remember. That's why I want to marry you." Rose watched him slowly pull his easygoing, happy expression back up over the sentimental thoughts. "And what about you?" he asked. "I seem to recall you having some trouble deciding to get into this," he teased.  
Rose giggled. "I don't know what I was thinking."

_Then_  
"So when do I get some of that?"  
Rose gasped and jumped away from the Doctor, wiping her lips off quickly. She glared at Jack. "Ever heard of knocking?"  
"You are in the main room of the Tardis, you know," Jack pointed out. "So, when's it my turn?"  
"What are you talking about?" Rose looked at the Doctor, nervous how he felt about getting caught kissing so early in their relationship. To her surprise, he didn't even look unhappy. Actually, he was looking at Jack like… like he'd been looking at her not five minutes before! Rose felt a twist of jealousy in her gut.  
"I mean, that looked pretty hot. I want in!" Jack stepped up to the Doctor, who easily opened his arms to let Jack closer. The former con-man wasted no time in accepting the invitation, cupping his hands around the Doctor's jaws and diving right in.  
Rose gaped. She didn't even notice when a sob fell out of her mouth, causing both men to turn to look at her in surprise. She turned and ran out of the console room and to her room, locking it behind her to block out the sounds of the Doctor and Jack- those arseholes!- calling her name.

_Now_  
"It was my fault," Jack said remorsefully. "I completely forgot about your culture's narrow monogamy laws."  
Rose shook her head. "I already forgave you, stop apologizing."  
"Or I could apologize some more." He gave her The Bedroom Grin, and she blushed.  
"No, actually, I think I made you pay me back enough going to my mum's."  
Jack shook his head, backing off. "You really know how to kill the mood."

_Then_  
"I can't do this!" Jack whispered.  
"It's only few more hours," the Doctor grumbled. He was trying to sound annoyed with Jack, but his face was tinted green and he kept glancing back over at the mug of coffee Jackie had given him like he was afraid it would bite him.  
"You should have warned me about her."  
"I did!"  
"If she's this bad now, what'll she be like once Rose tells her the three of us want to get married?" Jack nearly shuddered in horror.  
"YOU WHAT?!"  
Jackie Tyler was standing in the doorway to the kitchen. In that moment Jack was completely convinced she was actually an incarnation of Abbadon, the world-eater, so murderous was the expression on her face. Without thinking, he found himself careening through the front door to Rose's mother's flat and racing down the staircase, with the Doctor inches away from bowling over him. Jackie's thunderous shouts followed them down the stairs, and he was afraid to stop until the Doctor slammed the Tardis door shut behind them.  
"Setting course for anywhere and anywhen but here," Jack called, preparing the Tardis for an emergency exit.  
"Ready!" the Doctor replied. His hand hovered over the button, hesitating.  
"Jackie Tyler!" Jack shouted.  
"Rose!" the Doctor replied.  
"We'll come back for her!" Jack shouted louder, panicking.  
"She won't forgive us…"  
"I think it might be worth it," Jack begged.  
"No," the Doctor said, dropping his hand.  
Banging started on the door to the Tardis. "You two filthy animals get out here right now! I'm going to give you two a piece of my mind! Corrupting my daughter like this! I'll slap you so hard your fathers will cry!"  
Jack cowered away from the door. "We can at least stay in here until Rose calms her down, right?"  
"We should probably-" A particularly loud shriek and an anatomically impossible suggestion cut him off, and the Doctor gulped. "Yes, we should let Rose handle it."

_Now_  
"God, are you totally sure you want to get married to me?" Rose laughed.  
Jack stepped around the table and made Rose stand up so he could give her a long hug. "I'm positive. And you are too, aren't you Doctor?" he called.  
Rose gasped in indignation as the shamefaced Time Lord stepped into the Tardis kitchen. "How could you! You knew we're doing our vows for you right now, you're not supposed to hear them!"  
"From what I heard, you weren't doing much writin'," the Doctor grumbled.  
Jack laughed. "He's got a point, Rose. Well Doc, you heard the question. After what happened the last time we went to London, are you sure you're ready to go back tomorrow and pick up Jackie and Mickey for the wedding?"  
The Doctor scowled at the mention of Rose's family. "Of course. Said I was, didn't I?"  
"This is a time for complete honesty, Doctor," Jack said, sounding more serious all of a sudden. Rose looked at him and found he was wearing a strange smile. "You really sure you want to marry us?"  
The Doctor met Jack's gaze. "There might have been once or twice that my common sense kicked in…"

_Then_  
They'd managed to save a school full of semi-aquatic children from being torched by invading poachers, which meant it was time for clean-up. The Doctor had been ready to leave straight off, but Jack and Rose had both insisted on staying to help out the half-dozen teachers calm down the forty or so terrified children.  
Not really one for young beings in this regeneration, the Doctor stuck to instructing the local fire department how to safely remove the damaged systems from the burnt area of the school. After that was done, he wandered until he was sure his Companions must be ready to leave, but when he got back to the front of the school he was met with a sight that stopped him in his tracks.  
Rose sat on the front steps of the school, cradling a tearful young girl with pink scales. She was talking and smiling gently to the girl, trying to calm her down. Jack sat beside Rose with an arm around her, making jokes to get the girl to laugh.  
They looked like a family, the Doctor thought, unable to move closer and disturb the tableau. That was how they could be, if they weren't with him. They could grow old together, raise children. He couldn't do any of those things, and they couldn't either if they stayed with him.  
A hovercar pulled up in front of the school and the girl wiggled away from Rose to run to her red-scaled father, who caught her in a big hug and profusely thanked Rose and Jack.  
Once he left, Jack took Rose's hand and they walked over to where the Doctor was watching. Rose stepped forward to hug him tightly. "Everybody lived," she said into his ear. Jack smiled at them, a proud and peaceful expression that the Doctor had only started to see in Jack's last few months on the Tardis.  
Rose stepped away and took his hand, then Jack's. "Today's one of the good days, isn't it?"  
He nodded. "It really is, Rose."

_Now_  
"…but I've learned not to pay attention to that. Who needs common sense, I've got ten others that work much better," the Doctor finished.  
Jack looked satisfied with the answer. "So!" he said loudly, clapping his hands and rubbing them together. "We have two choices here. In Rose's time, it's tradition for the two betrothed to sleep apart the night before the wedding, to… actually I don't know why."  
"It's so that-"  
"Let me finish, that's not important anyway. Now in my time, everyone involved in the marriage sleeps together the night before the wedding, just to make absolutely sure it's what they want. Now I know we all said we're positive, but I'm feeling a bit doubtful all of a sudden." Jack gave them both The Bedroom Grin, and this time, Rose returned it.  
"You know, I might need a bit more convincin' too."  
"My room's next door!" the Doctor said quickly.  
There was a loud clatter of movement, and Jack's empty beer bottle ended up spinning in the middle of the table, eventually coming to a stop in the direction of the swinging kitchen door.


End file.
